Monday, December 3, 2007

Pausing Kate Morgan for Christmas

I went and weighed in today, with the full intention of not continuing with the shakes until after Christmas. I put on .3 which is to be expected with what I have eaten, although it's scary how quickly it does come back on. Thursday I was so excited because I had a chicken and salad roll, which was delicious. Dinner was Peter's new recipe of eye fillet with blue cheese sauce and char grilled vegies, which was divine. I had Thai on Friday night, and then had the blue cheese ensemble again on Saturday night. In between though I have been good, so I am happy with that.
Gina at the pharmacy has said I can come in and weigh in at any time, so that's very supportive and helpful. I will take her up on that offer.

I will be back in the New Year, to finish what I have started............

Monday, November 26, 2007

Still doing okay

I had some struggles on the weekend. I guess because of the week 6 mark, I had the real 'woe is me' attitude. It's hard going, this dieting business. I really struggled making my entire family nice sandwiches for lunch and I missed out on my shake, because I was going to an afternoon tea at the church. I didn't even have my shake. I had some egg sandwiches in the afternoon which were just delicious.

I lost .4kg this week, so again another good loss. The girls at the chemist were incredibly encouraging, and I am grateful for their support. I feel better for having seen them today. Hopefully next week I will be a 60's girl which will be fabulous. I have another three weeks to go before I revert to my own steam, as my income will stop and I just won't be able to afford the shakes.

I will just take one day at a time - knowing that I can pick myself up and go and talk to someone who is encouraging and helpful and they are also confident in my ability to continue. My darling husband is always steadfast in his support of me. He never says anything, but I wonder if he ever gets sick of me trying to lose weight.

Monday, November 19, 2007

A good loss

I did well last week. I lost .8kg and that's nothing to sneeze at. In five weeks I have lost 4.4kg- I don't normally lose that much in that amount of time, so I'm pretty happy with that result. I did have KFC on Friday night with Barbi, which I thoroughly enjoyed - it was delicious. On Saturday night with our anniversary dinner, I added avocado oil to our dish, and I also had a little more wine than I should have - but I figured I would see how I went. I don't feel like I am cheating - just like I am living.

I am resigned to the fact that when I finish this diet, I will diet Mon - Fri for life!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Weekly weigh in

I weighed in yesterday and was a little disappointed. I certainly didn't expect losses like the first two weeks, but half a kg would have been great. I took my food for Fri night, Sat lunch and a salad to add to Sat night's dinner. I ate a quiche and salad for lunch on Sunday instead of having my shake. I stayed away from all the cake/slices/pizza - so I was happy about that. Saturday night's dinner was roast chicken with roast vegies, I chose to have the chicken and took pumpkin and sweet potato (both not allowed on KM) but didn't take the roast potato or eat bread. I ate my dessert of diet mousse and diet jelly. I had my shakes at home for breakfast and brought in a yummy Gloria Jean's chocolate coffee, so I had something nice while all the girls hooked into their cooked breakfasts. Lunch on Sunday was a quiche which had puff pastry under it, a salad and I had a small serve of flummery which was just delicious. I drank no alcohol, until a couple of small glasses on Sunday night. So, all in all, not bad really, just crammed into a small amount of time, and right before weigh in day. This coming weekend, I am not dieting................It's the food and wine convention, so I think that kind of defeats the purpose. We are really looking forward to it.

Something did happen on the weekend which was an accidental sabotage. Peter bought my salad dressing and didn't check the label, so I just poured it on my salad and it wasn't fat free.......... Oh well, that won't happen again.

Last night's dinner was an old favourite, an Annette Sym recipe. Chicken breast fillets in a baking dish with (the boys had ham and cheese as well) capsicum, mushrooms and salsa. Very very yummy. We had vegies which was a nice change from the phenomenal amount of salad I am eating.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Still going strong

It's Wednesday of another week, I will update my other blog with what's been happening in the household. Nothing major, but enough to keep me on my toes, and to normally send one to the fridge/pantry for solace.

I am eating a King's ransom a week on salads - I am buying the packets of rocket and spinach leaves and go through almost four packs a week. That's $16 in lettuce leaves - yikes. Mind you I am saving that on take away and baking ingredients and cereal. I love my salads and normally by now I would be feeling ill just thinking about the next one, but I am plodding along quite comfortably and confident that I am here for the next few months. On Saturday night made a delicious Thai Beef Salad, I have posted the recipe over here


My salad comprises of restaurant leaves with added baby rocker, fresh basil, pea and lentil sprouts, cherry tomatoes, spring onions, carrots and Kraft French dressing with good quality balsamic vinegar - the best you can buy. Delish!



Monday, October 29, 2007

Week 2 Weigh in

So far so good. I lost 1.2kg this week and am very, very pleased with that. I have never ever lost over 1kg within the same diet session. I feel confident that I can continue this and do the right thing. I don't feel in the slightest bit tempted. The results are keeping me going. I bought a packet of doughnuts for the family, and just put them away without even licking my fingers when I got one out for the kids.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I am doing well

It's nearly two weeks and I am travelling along nicely. My darling husband has looked at me twice today and said I was starting to slim down. While I don't need validation to continue this journey, it sure helps to make me want to keep trying. My clothes already look better and I am excited about being able to wear some things without feeling self conscious. I know I can do this. These ae the tactics I employ to make this successful
- I always prepare my lunch to take to work, as well as my egg salad for dinner on Friday night for scrapbooking. Last night I even included a dessert of diet jelly with diet custard and while the ladies were eating a pizza supper I had that.
- I make sure I buy good varieties of salad, so that it's not dull and boring ice berg. I add delicious sprouts and lots of yummy vegies, I have also discovered the delicious taste of good quality of balsamic vinegar which tastes divine.
- Move myself away from the food table. I did that last night, and also yesterday at work as it was Teachers' Day and there was lots of yummy cake.

I am not hungry, I can honestly say I am not hungry. I feel like certain things sometimes, but I am not going hungry. I normally am starving for my meal times, especially lunch, so that's really good. I don't stress about what I can eat because the list is so small, there' s not much to think about.

The main key though, is preparation. Making sure I don't run out of my yummy salad stuff or the diet dressing. I bought WW cordial the other day and it's really nice. I get sick of water, and even though I love my Pepsi Max, I don't like drinking copious amounts, so the cordial is good. My husband is so encouraging and supportive. We look at recipes together and he knows what I can and can't have.

The next two weekends are going to be difficult. Next weekend won't be as bad as the following week though. The retreat is on, but I am sleeping at home. This saves me packing and I don't have to pay for accommodation. I can also eat my shake at home for breakfast, and have my shake at lunch. The dinner time I will make the best choice. The following weekend is the Food and Wine Convention and that will be much much harder. I am not dieting that weekend, but will endeavour to taste things, as opposed to gourmandizing on them. I am loathe to pay for a week's worth of shakes and then not lose any weight - so I am a little unsure exactly how that weekend will pan out. If I lose even a small amount that would be good. I probably won't weigh in on the Monday either, I will wait a few days.

Off to finish some photo editing and some blog reading.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Progress Report

I did my pilates class today and then headed off to the chemist to weigh in. I have lost 1.9kg in the first week. I am happy about that, I think the lady at the pharmacy was a bit disappointed with my reaction. I had my two youngest with me, and that's a stress in itself, and I know that I always lose weight in the first week. I can already feel where it has gone from - and it's exactly from where I want to lose it from , so that's great. She asked me if I had any questions and I said, no I was doing fine. The only 'challenge' was yesterday when we went to the plaza and the kids and Peter yummy stuff for lunch and I had a diet coke. Actually it wasn't that bad. I had my salad and shake then when we got home. I have discovered that the Kraft Free French dressing with really good quality balsamic vinegar is really nice. I buy the spinach leaves with rocket and it's a nice salad base. Last night I had an omlette which was delicious. I wonder how long I can do this for. I am steadfastly determined to give it a good attempt.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I had a revelation today

I was driving home from dropping the kidlets at school and it was then that my revelation hit me. I am either in one or two spaces where food is concerned. I am either hating the way I look, feeling self conscious, feeling uncomfortable, feeling helpless or I can be thinking about my meal plan for the day, working out what I can take to work, working out how to make dinner time as easy as possible when cooking for five and not just for myself. In the end one way of thinking is very negative and reactive to my situation. Being on Kate Morgan is a positive step in the right direction, it's pro-active and positive - and only good things can come of it.

I am not deluded to believe that this is a way of life, I am not that stupid. I know that I can't keep eating very basic foods, even though I know it's very good for me. But for now it will work. I am determined to make a good dent in the weight I need to lose. I also know that I just can't abandon healthy eating EVER!! Put it this way, I can do KM and then when I am maintaining my weight I will revert back to the WW way of doing things........in all seriousness, WW will be almost decadent after I finish my stint with this.

I am also surprised that I am not feeling crappy so far. When I did the Atkins Diet, I felt dreadful. I was lethargic, had a rotten headache and just felt so weak. With this I feel fine, I had a headache for most of Monday, but that might have been just a 'normal' headache. I actually feel quite good, full of energy and happy. I am taking a multi vitamin tonic as well, and I think that's helping in a huge way. My life is too busy, and with my depression, I really can't afford to feel unwell again.......

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Day 2

I have woken up this morning feeling pretty good. I was a bit head achy yesterday afternoon, and a little this morning, but have hit it on the head with panadol before it got a hold of me today. I had a good night's sleep which always helps too. I have been so tired of late, I can't wait for the anti depressants to settle down in my system so that I can just feel normal tired, instead of exhausted. It's still early in the morning and I am feeling a little peckish, but nothing major. I can have some fruit mid morning, so will have that before my yoga class. I woke up this morning not feeling as bloated as normal, which is a good feeling. Obviously my steak and salad dinner sits with me a lot better than the addition of rice or pasta, or corn and sweet potato................. Hello My name is Jenny Schimak and I am a carboholic!! Last night, I didn't have the munchies but looked forward to my cup of tea and a nestle diet mousse which I ate while Bunny had is biscuits and left over slice. I don't think the family has realized yet that the baking will slow down, now that I can't eat it for a while. Or on the flip side, I can bake and it will last much longer because I am not devouring it too. Tonight's dinner will be grill fish (frozen) with salad, while everyone else will have crumbed fish with home made wedges and salad too.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Never say Never

I am back on a diet.

I know, I know, I know, I said I would never, ever do it ever again.............. So what happened, I hear you ask????

The fact of the matter is that I need something. I need the help and I need the discipline. I also want it to happen fairly quickly, and then I know I have to go back to being careful. Even to probably dieting Monday to Fridays and relaxing on the weekends. I know I have it in me..........I just need to tap in again. I have great support at home, and I pray a lot too......so that will help.

I am doing the Kate Morgan program which is run through my local pharmacy. It's a meal replacement program, where breakfast and lunches are a shake. Dinner is a protein with vegies or salad. You can have two pieces of fruit a day, and a yoghurt, which is good, because I need that little something sweet of an evening.

She set my goal at 10kgs which she is confident is manageable. One thing I really liked, was the one on one support. I can get weighed every week and not pay. I can go in as many times as I like during the week for support or advice. The lady was really friendly and very helpful. She said that so far they have had great results.

I told her we had booked to go to the Food and Wine festival, and she said I could just do the best I can. I can still have my shakes for the other meals, or get right back on the wagon, on the Sunday. That's life, and I can't put it on hold, nor can I prolong going back to doing something any longer.

I feel uncomfortable. I want to wear my board shorts again, I want to wear tops without having the huge bulge around my waist. I am excited and look forward to my first results. I will post my thoughts here during my journey......

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Peace reigns

I should change the name of the blog. There no longer is a war.

Do I still need to address some issues?

Yes!

They are
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry

Pretty cool..............

I just about have this intuitive eating thing wired. I have lost a couple of kgs to boot, so I am happy. Am I still overweight, yes a little.............but hey I am 44 years old and I am not prepared to do what I need to do to look like a barbi doll........ Gosh I don't think that's even possible.

I am a work in progress. Actually life is just that........always evolving, being improved, evaluated and changed. Always positive and always improving - I like that!

Monday, July 30, 2007

IE Journey continues

When I was joining WW, on WW, or leaving WW, I blogged often. I belonged to a WW yahoo group and we comisserated and celebrated together on a daily basis. Since I embraced the IE principles, apart from the initital reading and stuff, I don't think about it much..........nor do I write about it much.

I just read a post from Joc
and she made me realize a couple of things about myself. I am not stressing about food. I am not waking up in the morning and planning my day's intake. I am not concerned if I have something coming up where I know there will be lots of goodies. I am finding that I am much more in tune with my body than ever before. I sometimes deliberately miss lunch, because I am not hungry. I sometimes, on the weekends, don't eat breakfast, and then eat in the afternoon when I am peckish. I find that if I eat something one evening, that's not 'healthy' which is usually on a Friday night, I don't need breakfast. I actually feel a bit icky in the stomach, and am happy with green tea. I have discovered that I can drink herbal tea, which increases my water intake during the colder months. I haven't been drinking enough water, and I find the peppermint tea and green tea is soothing to my stomach. I am finding I am more sensitive to 'white' starches so am paying attention to evening meals. Tonight I cooked a rosti of potatoes and I did sweet potato for myself. My doctor in Noosaville, the one who has put me on the hormone cream and taken me off HRT has suggested I cut out all white starches (and chocolate!!). I am thinking he may have something there. On a Friday night, we will often have KFC and I don't think it's the twister that bothers me, I think it's the chips. I will not have the chips this Friday and see if it makes a difference.

Like Joc, I am finding this makes me happier and much nicer to be around. I am happier within myself, content and relaxed about life in general. If I like myself more, then it has to rub off onto others, especially my husband. Our relationship is good, but we always work on it, talk about things and are aware of each others feelings, but me being not stressing about food has improved things on that side of my life. I think too, changing my medication regime is having a positive impact on many things in my life.

Thanks Joc for making me sit down and blog about the positive things in my life.

IE Journey continues

When I was joining WW, on WW, or leaving WW, I blogged often. I belonged to a WW yahoo group and we comisserated and celebrated together on a daily basis. Since I embraced the IE principles, apart from the initital reading and stuff, I don't think about it much..........nor do I write about it much.

I just read a post from Joc
and she made me realize a couple of things about myself. I am not stressing about food. I am not waking up in the morning and planning my day's intake. I am not concerned if I have something coming up where I know there will be lots of goodies. I am finding that I am much more in tune with my body than ever before. I sometimes deliberately miss lunch, because I am not hungry. I sometimes, on the weekends, don't eat breakfast, and then eat in the afternoon when I am peckish. I find that if I eat something one evening, that's not 'healthy' which is usually on a Friday night, I don't need breakfast. I actually feel a bit icky in the stomach, and am happy with green tea. I have discovered that I can drink herbal tea, which increases my water intake during the colder months. I haven't been drinking enough water, and I find the peppermint tea and green tea is soothing to my stomach. I am finding I am more sensitive to 'white' starches so am paying attention to evening meals. Tonight I cooked a rosti of potatoes and I did sweet potato for myself. My doctor in Noosaville, the one who has put me on the hormone cream and taken me off HRT has suggested I cut out all white starches (and chocolate!!). I am thinking he may have something there. On a Friday night, we will often have KFC and I don't think it's the twister that bothers me, I think it's the chips. I will not have the chips this Friday and see if it makes a difference.

Like Joc, I am finding this makes me happier and much nicer to be around. I am happier within myself, content and relaxed about life in general. If I like myself more, then it has to rub off onto others, especially my husband. Our relationship is good, but we always work on it, talk about things and are aware of each others feelings, but me being not stressing about food has improved things on that side of my life. I think too, changing my medication regime is having a positive impact on many things in my life.

Thanks Joc for making me sit down and blog about the positive things in my life.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

It's not a diet

I have been following this 'no diet' regime for over four months now. I am following the principles of Intuitive Eating. One thing I have done which I am really grateful for, is I haven't obsessed. IE has taken over my life. I haven't bought every book on the subject, (I have them on my fishpond wishlist, but have bought none). I am really pleased I haven't succumbed.............because -

It's not a diet, it's not something I can fail at. It's not something that may work............. It does work. You just have to let it. Let IE take a back seat. Allow your own body to dictate its wants and needs foodwise. I have even stopped reading 'diet' blogs for motivation, because often they are quite sad to read............

I am happy with my choice. It's working and I know I am a much happier person for it.

Diets don't work

They don't work for me! I am over dieting, I am over ever having to eat second grade food because I think it's 'better' for me. Things that have changed since I ditched diets forever................(that was four months ago).
* I don't think about food allllllll day long.
* I don't shudder when someone invites me to lunch/morning tea/dinner
* I don't plan my intake of food from dusk till dawn of any given day
* I don't record in a diary every morsel of food which passes my lips
* I don't feel guilty if I eat something 'bad'
* I do enjoy cooking and baking again
* I do relish the thought of trying new recipes
* I do enjoy making my family happy with my goodies
* I am not cringing over all the birthdays coming up
* I don't feel compelled to eat everything in one hit, because tomorrow I start a new diet
* I don't berate myself for being overweight
* I have gained no weight
* I have stayed the same weight but lost a little percentage of fat
* I don't have to drink crap milk anymore
* I enjoy eating crackers, and don't feel compelled to eat lots and lots and lots at once
* I can eat cheese now, and still only eat a little
* If I am not hungry, I don't eat, and I don't feel like I am missing out
* I don't get the shakes when I am hungry
* I am much, much happier


I feel I will add to this list as time goes by. I know that my body needs good food and exercise, and I don't begrudge having to do that, because it's my choice and not something someone has mandated for me. If I miss a week of gym............so be it. That's life. I am not training for a marathon, I am training for life, and................. I am a works in progress.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Not that hungry

I am experiencing something really weird at the moment.

I really want to think that it's my non dieting mode of thinking. I am not thinking about food all the time. It's amazing and feels absolutely fantastic. Situations arise where I would normally go for some little snack, and I ask myself 'Am I hungry?' and my answer is a resounding "NO!" I can't believe it, never thought I would ever say that. Me who is always hungry, me who is always wondering what the next meal/snack is, and when it will be and how much it will be. Me who is always trying to work out how I can eat the most for what I am 'allowed' to eat........ I don't even have supper every night, something I made sure I always had when on a diet. I can even go without lunch and not feel like I am going to keel over. I would feel so faint and dizzy after a few hours of not eating, and now it doesn't happen. Probably because when I have dinner, it has some substance to it, and keeps me satisfied for much longer. I know skipping meals isn't ideal, but, if I can go without lunch and then have a good dinner, surely that has to be okay, if I am not going hungry and I certainly don't feel deprived........

I am learning, I am making inroads to eating intuitively.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Body Image

I belong to a yahoo group which looks at the elements of Intuitive Eating. Every day a new discussion is started and I always think about my reply and can usually add my bit straight away. Yesterday's topic was about "My Body". IE advocates to learn to love oneself and to love your body. To respect and honour it and be humbled by all it can do for you. I like that, that has really struck a chord with me.......until I look in the mirror that is!! I thought about my reply to this topic for two days, because I really struggled with it, and I so much want to get past this mentality. Here is what I wrote.

I have been thinking to a reply to this post for the last two days, and couldn't come up with anything positive to share. This is my stumbling bloc - my body!

I don't wait for anything, 'I'll do that when I lose weight', so I know life wouldn't be any different if I were slim. I take good care of myself, my hair is always done, even if I am at home all day, I always wear makeup, even just a little when at home. I wear nice clothes - but I would love to wear different clothes. I feel great, I feel good within myself, I don't feel grossed out by my body at all, until I look in the mirror, or worse, catch a look at myself unexpectedly in a shop window.

So far my thoughts are still at this level
"why can't everyone else be a little plump, like me?

" Why can't we still have the same body desires as in the 50's,
or even in centuries gone by where a buxom and voluptuous woman
was considered beautiful and sexy?"

I am confident, I carry myself well, I am not afraid to
speak up for myself or to be the life of a gathering.......
these are thoughts which I only have for me. They just haunt
me when no-one is watching!.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Enjoying food freedom

Just in case anyone is reading this and is wondering why they can't find their way back to my other blog. I have omitted the address from my profile as I have some younger readers, who I don't really want to read my innermost thoughts and feelings. So, if you haven't bookmarked it, leave a comment and let me know. The blogs are still accessible without password etc, just that you can't jump to them in my profile, where they were previously listed.

I have been doing some more reading of late, about others who have thrown diet mode out the window. Very interesting and very motivating. I feel like I am on the right path. I went into the supermarket today to buy some necessities, and I felt like some goodies..... I bought a nice tub of good yoghurt. To think that as a treat I pick something like that is really wierd. It's not a cake, not chocolate, but a yummy yoghurt that I will eat over three nights - because it's so filling I couldn't eat it in one sitting if I tried.

Probably the best thing, is that I can nuture one of my passions. I can cook. I can cook for my family whatever recipe my heart desires, without having to calculate points and decide that I can only have a small helping IF I eat a salad leaf for lunch!! The thing is I don't cook fatty anyway. I only deep fry something occasionally. I love making vegetable fritters, schnitzel and spring rolls (home made).............I would average one of these dishes about once a month, so it's not going to kill my arteries!

I wonder how many years it will take to get the rid of the dieting brainwashing?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Food Wars Continue

My other blog started as a weight loss blog. I have had that blog for two years, maybe more, and there hasn't been a lot of weight loss happening. Because I am always changing/stopping/evolving as far as my dieting journey goes, I have become reluctant to post about this, because I feel like I have failed somewhat. I still feel that I need to journal this all down though, even though the other blog has become a journal. I wanted somewhere else to write down my thoughts.

I have dieted on and off for over twenty years. I know exactly what to do, how often and how much! But I couldn't lose weight anymore. I'd hit a brick wall........ I can't do WW anymore. I don't ever want to try Jenny Craig again. I can't afford Sureslim, nor do I want the total deprivation which comes with that style of dieting.

So - no more dieting. I have found Intuitive Eating, and feel like this is an answer to my prayers........... I belong to a Ning group which is for those on IE and I have learnt alot through it. (I will post a link in the sidebar, when I get organized). At the moment I feel like I am failing at that too though. The weekend just gone was a retreat - and bucket loads of food is always involved in this weekend. By Sunday, I realized that I had overdone things, and I didn't feel real good about it. I had stomach pains Sunday night, and I felt so guilty. Diet mentality still reigns supreme.........

Need to go to Peaches and Cream and do some more reading.