Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Not that hungry

I am experiencing something really weird at the moment.

I really want to think that it's my non dieting mode of thinking. I am not thinking about food all the time. It's amazing and feels absolutely fantastic. Situations arise where I would normally go for some little snack, and I ask myself 'Am I hungry?' and my answer is a resounding "NO!" I can't believe it, never thought I would ever say that. Me who is always hungry, me who is always wondering what the next meal/snack is, and when it will be and how much it will be. Me who is always trying to work out how I can eat the most for what I am 'allowed' to eat........ I don't even have supper every night, something I made sure I always had when on a diet. I can even go without lunch and not feel like I am going to keel over. I would feel so faint and dizzy after a few hours of not eating, and now it doesn't happen. Probably because when I have dinner, it has some substance to it, and keeps me satisfied for much longer. I know skipping meals isn't ideal, but, if I can go without lunch and then have a good dinner, surely that has to be okay, if I am not going hungry and I certainly don't feel deprived........

I am learning, I am making inroads to eating intuitively.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Body Image

I belong to a yahoo group which looks at the elements of Intuitive Eating. Every day a new discussion is started and I always think about my reply and can usually add my bit straight away. Yesterday's topic was about "My Body". IE advocates to learn to love oneself and to love your body. To respect and honour it and be humbled by all it can do for you. I like that, that has really struck a chord with me.......until I look in the mirror that is!! I thought about my reply to this topic for two days, because I really struggled with it, and I so much want to get past this mentality. Here is what I wrote.

I have been thinking to a reply to this post for the last two days, and couldn't come up with anything positive to share. This is my stumbling bloc - my body!

I don't wait for anything, 'I'll do that when I lose weight', so I know life wouldn't be any different if I were slim. I take good care of myself, my hair is always done, even if I am at home all day, I always wear makeup, even just a little when at home. I wear nice clothes - but I would love to wear different clothes. I feel great, I feel good within myself, I don't feel grossed out by my body at all, until I look in the mirror, or worse, catch a look at myself unexpectedly in a shop window.

So far my thoughts are still at this level
"why can't everyone else be a little plump, like me?

" Why can't we still have the same body desires as in the 50's,
or even in centuries gone by where a buxom and voluptuous woman
was considered beautiful and sexy?"

I am confident, I carry myself well, I am not afraid to
speak up for myself or to be the life of a gathering.......
these are thoughts which I only have for me. They just haunt
me when no-one is watching!.