Changing Me

Still Changing me

2008-06-16T20:19:00.000+10:00

I have been slack again and not updating this blog, but, have no fear, I haven’t fallen off the wagon. I’ve been on WW yet for 16 weeks and while I have still only lost around the 6kg mark, I am in no way falling off the wagon. It’s become second nature now, I still track every single day, but I don’t feel tempted to ‘cheat’. I know that if I write things down, I remember them, it’s too easy to let things creep in. I remember all those years ago, when I did WW (the second time) , and succeeded, I spent years afterwards tracking and the weight just stayed off.

I still have difficult moments, still evenings are my worst times. They are the times when I wish I had chocolate or nuts to nibble on. But every night, I get through it and just look forward to my cup of tea, my Vaalia yoghurt and 2 WW biscuits. They are my nightly indulgence. Naturally on the weekends I don’t have those, because my foods are generally higher in points. I am still eating less than my 19 daily points during the week, so I have enough for richer food on the weekend. It means I can also incorporate a scone, or some chocolate biscuits as well as my wine - so on the whole grand scheme of things I am not missing out on anything.

I didn’t think I’d lost any weight at all over the last few weeks, but on Saturday I wore my new Levi jeans. They look great with my boots and a lyrcra top and a brown vest. I feel comfortable and dressed up in them, in a nice casual kind of way. On Saturday I felt they needed a really good wash in hot water for them to get back into shape. I haven’t had them for that long. So, even if I don’t think I am losing weight, it’s quiet obvious that I still am.

On the WW forum, they started a 12 week challenge which finishes this Friday. I think everyone has fallen by the wayside, but I have kept all my measurements and stuff along the way, so will post my results on the weekend.

Test Drive Mac Journal

2008-05-14T16:56:00.000+10:00

I am trialling a new software program. I am such a nerd sometimes lol - I love new applications. I was disappointed that I couldn’t continue using iweb because I decided not to set up a .mac account. This program is called MacJournal, and can be found at at this site

I am trialling the ‘add to blog’ function today.

I had a quiet day at home today. Billy-Joe wasn’t feeling well in the stomach again, so he stayed home. I spent my hours at the computer, finishing my PSE lesson, and reading up about MacJournal. I also went on a long walk, took a huge detour and picked up the kids from school. My legs are aching a big tonight, I may have to have a rest day tomorrow.

C25K

2008-05-13T09:17:00.002+10:00

Billy-Joe and I are still continuing on with our program. On Saturday we did Week 4, Day 1. I really surprised myself. I managed to just keep plodding along. We started running down the road, and then continued along the creek and finished the run on the oval. We even did about the last two minutes up and down the oval so that we stayed in the shade - I find this helps me a lot. Billy-Joe struggled a few times, so walked a few steps and then fell back in time with me again.

I had considered giving up the jogging. My hips are not good. I reassess each time I run. At this point in time, I am finding my fitness improve, I recover quite quickly - and I am really loathe to give it up. Sometimes the walk home is difficult, but that's mainly because of the wretched hills - if it were flat, it would be so much easier - and given the problem I have, I know that hills aggravate it. When I think about it my legs feel like they have lead in them all the time, it's a wonder I can jog at all - so I am quite proud of myself for persevering. I will see my physio on Thursday - hopefully she won't rouse at me!!

I got my Polar HRM on Mothers Day, and it's so cool, I love it. It's red, which is such a happy colour. I hope to try it out this afternoon, I will go for a 5km walk, taking the long cut to pick up the kids from school.

The Cohort part of the last post

2008-05-13T08:51:00.002+10:00

I never even got back to finishing that last post. When I work everyday, my computer time is severely shortened - understandably so, but I hate it when I don't get to update as often. Life is so busy and I want it captured on my blog, so I can always refer back to it.

We had decided that our kids would go to the local state high school when the time came. Our eldest was not happy about the decision, as his cohort are all going to the Catholic High School, but to his credit, he never complained about it, but we knew it was of concern to him. All the interviews were taking place and dh had seen many parents and kids come through the school for them, and then people started asking him when ours was. The principal was taken aback when Peter said that we had decided to send our kids elsewhere due to the financial constraints. He was very quick in saying that it was always a given that our kids would go there, and that they would help out in any way they can. Peter was very touched by this, and quite humbled as you can imagine. Honestly I hadn't thought too hard about the Catholic High School. When your husband works there for as long as he has, you don't always here the positive side of the story, I only hear him whinging about how much work, etc he has to do. I don't really hear the 'schooling' side of things. I have a friend and sil whose children attended and they too, were always quick to highlight the negatives, so all in all, I wasn't really nonplussed at all that we had chosen the other school.

Having said that though, I don't want my child unhappy. I don't want him dreading entering a huge school where he knows barely no-one. The criterion I based my choosing of their Primary School are still qualities I hold dear. I wanted a small school with a faith based education -and the Catholic High School will continue in that vein. I also wanted the 'feral' element to be as low as possible, so that the chances of him getting into trouble or being led astray were drastically reduced. I know there are bad kids in every school, but there just can't be the same number in a small catholic school as there is in a huge state high. I always wanted to give my kids the best I possibly could - and we believe this school will give us this.

After that initial conversation with the principal, we asked Billy-Joe, if he had a choice what school would he choose. He said, of course St Johns, but I understand why I have to go elsewhere. When we told him that he would most probably go to St Johns - he just flung himself into my arms and he cried. So, that cemented it for me!

Yesterday we had our interview and Billy-Joe did very well, as we knew he would. He can pave the way for the two munchkins who will follow. He's the type of kid that every teacher wants a class full of. I'm not just saying that because I am his Mum either, because I can just as easily say, 'Look out St Johns when the next two come along!!' Maybe they will have settled down by then, although Sammy will always be quirky, but perhaps may have more self control.

Anyway I digress, as per usual. The decision has been made, the money side of things will be worked out later.

Okay, so that concludes the 'cohort' segment of the previous post. Now Billy-Joe will remain with his cohort.

Work, Polar and Cohort

2008-05-03T17:19:00.001+10:00

After a full on week last week, I was ecstatic that I had no work on this week. Last week was an interesting scenario but a very good one.

I started one morning, with about 50 pairs of expectant eyes upon me: my students, parent helpers and the special needs aide. I was a teacher down and a parent helper down, it it wasn't even 9am!! It's strange how one reacts to situations. I often think of myself as being a bit on the ditzy side, and someone who stresses easily. I am beginning to learn about myself that that is not the case.

I thought, okay, I am a teacher and a parent helper down, this is going to take me a while, but I will get it sorted. The routine of the classroom is a tricky one, and for the newbie - not easy to follow (and at that point, that included me). I'd organized the kids into their reading groups, the principal arrived and informed me that the replacement teacher was on his way. Okay, now I only have to split myself two ways instead of three. I settled down the kids, and started teaching two groups - praise God that I am quite adept at a multi skilled setting, so even though this was pain staking, it was certainly workable. The other teacher arrived, I gave him a quick introduction, told him my name, and said here are your kids. Take over from the principal and we will muddle through the day. He had a glazed look on his face, a look that can only ever be on someone who has been thrown in at the deep end. The first session is over and I learn that the man is on his first day - ever!! It was second break before I realized the poor man hadn't even been for a pee!!! So I directed him to the toilets and talked to him some more. I was on my own. He was another body, that was useful for looking after kids, but wasn't really in a situation to take any weight off my shoulders. When, in mid session the kids didn't rotate as they should have, I realized that I needed to just take over - and just run it my way. I don't like treading on toes - so did this delicately. The next day, I just timetabled the day, told him what he had to do, and we had a good day. By Thursday, we had a few slots unplanned for so I asked him to think of some activities to do, as Anzac Day was approaching, we decided to work with that.

He arrived on Thursday morning with some awesome ideas, and asked me for my help. He knew my organizational skills were strong, and would I co-ordinate the whole thing. I am all for working with one's strengths. I thought it was a great plan.

We had the best day on the Thursday. I put the kids into their groups, gave them their tasks, and we set off on our project. We made a shrine, covered with pictures and coloured in poppies. We also made a wreath, with a 'Lest We Forget' banner across it. The kids were stoked. It was the focal point of our Anzac Day Ceremony which was held at the end of the day. I was exhausted from that week, but felt great that it all came together really well.

Rebel Sports had a 25% off all day sale on Thursday, if you presented an RACQ card. I had to work, so thought I would probably miss out. Thankfully the manager was really helpful and asked that if I faxed down everything he would put the sale through for me. I am the proud new owner of a Polar F4 HRM watch, the red one.....so cool. It's my Mothers Day present, so I am not supposed to know that I am getting it. The store manager on the Friday told me that if I bought other stuff he would give me the 25% off as well. I bought another pair of walking pants and some new tops, and I also got Billy-Joe a really good pair of Fila running shoes.

I will publish this now and then update tomorrow.

Mothers' Day Classic, C25K and other stuff.

2008-04-29T22:10:00.002+10:00

My parents are away this year for Mothers' Day. Traditionally, we have always spent it together, and it's become quite a special day in the last 11 years of Mothers' Days where I have been a Mum too. This year, however, my parents have gone away for a few weeks and are not going to be here for that day. My kids have informed me that I can choose to do whatever I like - which is pretty big permission coming from young kids lol.....

Yesterday I was on the WW forum and I read a post about the Mothers Day Classic, and thought - what a fabulous idea. I also knew that my dh wouldn't be so excited about it. I read about it, saw pics from previous events, and could imagine myself doing the 7.5km walk, with a view of doing the 4km jog next year - what a great goal to set myself, and also for Billy-Joe to run it with me. Alas my fears were confirmed, dh is far from enthusiastic about the idea. He hasn't even asked me details about it, but he did ask me why I wanted to do it, I said, I thought it'd be fun, it was a great way to raise money, it was something we could all do together, it was different...... So, not to be disheartened, or set back by such disapproval, I decided there would be other events. So I googled to find another. Sure enough there's another in Brisbane later this year, and yes, you guessed it, it's on Fathers Day.....yeah well he's really going to be impressed with that date lol......

I did Week 2, Day 3 on Sunday, on the beach with Billy-Joe. I actually found it quite tough going. We'd done the day before on the Saturday which is against recommendations, but time isn't always my own, so I wanted to make the most of the good weather. I persisted and got through it, and felt awesome when I finished (and that runner's high kicked in!!!) It was hard running in the sand, the tide was fairly high, so hard sand was nowhere to be found. Plus I was pretty aware of not getting the Mizunos wet.

Yesterday I walked to pick up the kids from school, but I took a huge detour so I walked around 5km. I did a strong, fast walk, and my legs were quite sore last night, probably a culmination of exercising hard a few days close together. Today I ran out of time, with housework and visitors, so I gave my legs a good rest. I will do the long walk again tomorrow. I want to increase my fitness, and increase the speed of my weight loss. I feel strong when I finish my sessions - quite empowered.

Another fantastic benefit is the fact that it's something Billy-Joe and I enjoy doing together. That's why I thought entering a race, (fun run) type event would be a really cool goal for us to work toward. I will just keep my eyes and ears open and see what's happening in the future. I don't hold any plans of winning any events, but I just want the satisfaction of actually competing and completing an event.

Mizunos Rock!

2008-04-19T16:21:00.002+10:00

My poor old Nikes have seen better days. Not only do they look tired, but the tread is half worn, and they have no cushioning left in them whatsoever. They have served me well, with many hours at the gym, aerobic and pump classes and lots of walks, and often just general comfort. I have had them for four years and was really pleased that I bought them, even though they weren't cheap. I have chronic achilles tendonitis and also have calf problems (on the same side), so correct footwear for me is imperative. I can remember my last shoes, I could barely walk in them, and them my achilles problem was helped more by the new Nikes than the $400+ orthotics which I bought. Mind you I still wear the orthotics, they are quite comfortable. I probably should really have them renewed. My hip problem is - I believe also at the crux of my foot problem. I think it exacerbates the calf and the achilles and also the area on the inside of my foot, around the inside of my ankle bone. Funnily enough I have no pain in my shoes, but have to be careful barefoot or in my house shoes. Anyway, I digress terribly, that was not the topic of my post.

Yesterday morning, I thought to my self, I would really like to go and have a look at Athletes Foot and see about some new walking/running shoes. I also need some new walking gear, as my stuff is looking rather faded and even some of the new stuff is baggy and I like firm pants (without saggy knees in them). I told myself that if I got some extra work within the next four weeks, over and above the contracted work, I would shout myself some new stuff, so perhaps it wasn't wise to go and have a look when I didn't want to spend any money yet. Lo and behold, not ten minutes after my decision, one of the teachers rang me and asked me to work Monday!! Unbelievable!! I also had a phone call from a girlfriend asking me to meet her for coffee and lunch - well if that wasn't a sign, I don't know what was.

I went to Athletes Foot, after a lovely coffee and lunch with galpal Lisa - and the people in there were incredibly helpful. I ended up buying a cool pair of Mizunos. They fitted me like a glove and were soo comfortable, I felt like I was walking on air. I walked out of there in my new Mizunos a very happy camper. I told them of my endeavour to run - said it was one of those dreams I'd harboured for so long, but that I'd often had doubts - I mean are some people just not meant to run?? I am not a born runner, I am not a born athlete full stop. But I have a hope that I can master this. With following the C25k program, slow and easy I think I can do it. They told me at AF to take it easy, and that I would be okay. I read on the WW forums about women trying it all the time, and they weigh much more than I do, some of them over 20kg than me - so I know physically I should be able to do it.

So, I get up this morning, all looking forward to trying out the Mizunos and the new walking gear. (I stopped into Rebel Sports on my way home). I felt the part and dh was constantly groping my rear end, 'cause he said it looked damn good!! Got the family organized, lunch all round, donned the Mizunos and the rain just poured out of the sky!! And it was cold! It was foul!! Stuff it, we decided, take the mobile if it rains darling husband would come and collect us. I went out to the porch to stretch my calf and achillies pre-run and it was so dark that it was obvious it was going to pour again soon.

Peeved, we went inside, I changed into tracksuit pants and ugh boots, resigned to not jogging today - I was so excited too, because Billy-Joe was all pumped to come with me. I sat down at the computer and perused the boards at Cool Runnings.

I kept getting up and staring out all the windows - Billy-Joe was resting and was not happy that I was obviously not relaxed, so he just said, 'How about, we just go?'. What a honey......what a darling child!! We went.

Week 2, Day 1 C25k and we kicked butt. Next time we will take some ventolin, Billy-Joe struggled a bit. I told him that doing this would improve his lung capacity. He was excited and pumped. He even said that he would enter more events at the Sports Carnival and that he was feeling better since we'd started walking together. This is so cool. It's so awesome that we can spend time together like this. He is just the best companion. We just floated home! The hill in Elizabeth St and our St seemed so easy, we both commented on how it didn't feel half as steep as normal.....

And those Mizunos! I know good shoes are important, I'd done enough research to know that, I just didn't believe they would actually make it easier for me. I felt so much more sure footed. I was cushioned underneath and felt more secure in my shoe.

I won't be able to jog this week, anymore, with working four days - it will be Friday before I can go out again. I don't care if the 8 week program takes me 14 weeks, I will just persevere.......

C25K Continues

2008-04-14T16:48:00.002+10:00

I have completed another session this afternoon, and feel pretty good about myself. I kind of get that real smug feeling knowing I have exercised and done my body some good. I wasn't keen about going, but the kids were wanting to go to the park, so it was win-win situation all round. They swing and climb, while I jog (read lumber/scuffle) around the park. I finally discovered what all the hype about 'runner's high' was all about.......It really kicked in and felt amazing. I got it when I STOPPED jogging......(mmmm, methinks that's not quite what the running enthusiasts had in mind when they coined that phrase, but for the time being, that's the only 'high' I can find......)

It was a glorious day, so soaked up a good dose of Vitamin D as well.

The weekend went well food wise. I have found that if I don't snack, mid morning or mid afternoon, I have loads of points, and have a couple to bank. I have decided not to eat my exercise points, I will see if that makes a difference. I can go back to eating them once I am on maintenance.

Thank you for comments

2008-04-11T15:36:00.004+10:00

I didn't realize anyone was commenting on this blog as I wasn't receiving notification, due to an old email addy having been entered. I went to edit the last post and saw there were a few comments. Thank you all so much for taking the time to drop by, read and leave comments. I really appreciate it. Joc it was lovely to see you on here too. I still drop by your blog - probably don't comment enough.

Thanks again, and sorry for coming across rude and not acknowledging your kind words and thoughts before.

Have been slack posting, but not slack on my WW journey

2008-04-11T15:04:00.004+10:00

I can't have a weight loss blog without the frank honesty of pictures. The above pics were taken on my birthday and then painting in the new year (2008). The first photos are taken a few days after Christmas, and I reckon I'd already put most of the Kate Morgan loss back on.....

This was taken this morning, before going out to take kids to town, and after my scales didn't tell me what I wanted to hear again...... I will take to take proof from all things 'scaleless'!! My NSVs (non scale victories) definitely outnumber the joy on the scales at this stage of my journey.

On Monday it's seven weeks since I started on this new journey. The time has gone very quickly and I am really pleased with how my change of attitude has helped me this time. As per my usual modus operandi I have plateaued at that 70kg mark. This is my fourth week of staying the same. I am a little frustrated, but nowhere near as I have been the other times. I have bought a new WW set of scales, and they read differently all the time. This morning Bunny cut me a piece of wood, so now they sit on something flat instead of trying to find a flat part on our slate floors. I had already eaten by the time he did that, so didn't want to hop onto the scales again.

I weighed first thing this morning, and all I want to see is 69 point something.......and I don't even want to record anything until I see that!!! I have been 70kg for so long, I need to see that six in the front.

I know that I am losing weight even though the scales don't give me that affirmation. As I needed proof, I decided to measure myself. On the WW forum I am part of a 12 week challenge, where we had to set goals and then report in daily/weekly of our progress. One of the things we had to do was measure ourselves and I wasn't going to measure myself again until the end of the month. My initial measurements were taken on 26/3. I was stunned to see that I have dropped 17 cm off my body........and not a smidgen off the scales. What gives, I don't understand that, it doesn't make sense. Okay, I have been using my weights and walking as much as pain and time allow me to, but that's ridiculous. I was just delighted when I saw those figures, I was amazed.

In regard to plateaus, I read an interesting article in an old Slimming magazine I borrowed from the library. It said that a plateau of 2-3 months is nothing to worry about, and that it was the body settling into it's new weight, and that it also meant that it would stay off better. Sometimes I wonder if this stuff is just phsyco babble, but I will take words or encouragement where I can.

Today I took the kids to a small park down the road and I did the first step of C25K. I did okay. I didn't think I could do it, but I managed okay. I hope to go out again tomorrow. Even though he recommends a rest day, I won't get a chance on Sunday, and I am working three days next week, so that will be out......(Why does work have to get in the way of life) When I came home I did my weights, and used my fitball to do my crunches. I feel like I have done a great workout. I am also not going to eat my exercise points anymore. I think I can still save points for the weekend without eating them. If I go away on the weekend, or there's a special dinner or something, then I will, but that doesn't happen often, and that's life anyway, but for weight loss I will try and not eat them.

I bought a book 'All About me' as recommended by Kirsty.

The book is available through here. It's really cool, as you can write in your daily food, your weights, cardio and abdominal workouts. I love it. So cool to have everything together. Probably a little over priced, but I like it, and it helps to keep me focussed.

Today marks Week 7

2008-04-07T20:25:00.002+10:00

I have been on WW now for six weeks. I feel so happy with my decision and my resolve so far.

Every day I feel stronger, every day I feel like I have got the right mind set, and I am trying to analyze it very closely, to see what it is that is making it work this time. This last weekend, was a real test, and I passed it with flying colours.

I have learnt that
* I can control my food intake in all settings
* If I go away, I can find out what food will be on offer and incorporate it into my food journal, before I even get there, so that I can work in foods around it.
* I can make good food choices if the family wants McDonalds. It may cause inconvenience and take more time for me to go elsewhere for food, but I can spend the same points as a small 'healthy' McDonald's meal and have a huge chicken salad roll, which fills me is satisfying and is good for me too.

I am looking forward to the weeks ahead and the changes which are going to take place. I am already wearing jeans which I had put up on the top part of my wardrobe, because I didn't look nice in them anymore. They are actually feeling a little loose - I have no idea when that happened. My pjs which I dragged out to take away for the weekend are permanently tied up, just loose enough that I can pull them down over my hips in the middle of the night for a visit to the loo, but now they threaten to ride down in bed - and I don't want to tighten them just yet - it feels too good to have them loose. If I am wearing a camisole under a top, and I haven't put the top on yet, I feel comfortable and look nice. The Michelin man look is fading and I feel so much better within myself. If I catch myself in a window, I am not upset by the vision.....

I bought new WW scales last week, and even though they weigh heavier, which I knew they would I know I have still lost the same amount of weight and I can 'feel' that I have lost more weight, so I am happy with that.

I survived Easter

2008-03-24T16:22:00.006+10:00

I did it! I got through Easter and did it easily. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get back to WW. It's the way to go for me. I don't feel deprived, I don't feel resentful when others are eating what ever they want around me, because I can have something too. My positive things which happened over the weekend. Some have been posted on the WW forum, but I don't think anyone actually reads this anyway....actually I've just copied and pasted, no need to reinvent the wheel, I've just added stuff to the bottom.
* * Saved extra points and had more than I needed to indulge a little for our EAster Sunday BBQ.
* Fit in one huge walk on Good Friday. Unfortuately I overdid it yet again, and my hips have given me grief for the last two days. They are a little better today, but weather is revolting - and i hate walking in the rain.
* Darling Husband bought me some new handweights so I can do a session inside (out of rain), and i normally follow up my walks with floor work, so now can add weights too.
* downloaded more up tempo music for my ipod, but downloaded a program which calculates bpm so I can make up playlists to exercise by.
* drooled over Polar HRM watches....
* Went to Mcdonalds and had a filet of fish (accounted for) and didn't feel left out,deprived or resentful of everyone else having whatever they wanted.

Am feeling more positive about this WW journey than ever before.HOpe everyone else had a great Easter and that they felt in control. The kids have loads of chocolates and I am holding strong. If I want some I will weigh out a little of an evening and count it. My only regret is - why didn't I get back to WW earlier? It's taken trying all the other methods to realize (the hard way) that WW is the ONLY way.

Added from WW post
* I did end up going for my walk and I feel fabulous and am so glad I went. By the time I got down to the milkbar I thought I'd go the extra distance, because I felt so good, but refrained as it's taken me over 2 days to recover from the last walk.

My hip problem scares the living day lights out of me. I hate the thought that once again my exercise plans are going to be thwarted. I have finally decided to do something that is achievable, realistic and easy to maintain, and now I am having trouble going as often as I'd like because of pain. Thank God for the anti inflammatories, without them I would have no hope at the moment. I am doing a lot of stretches when I get home, hopefully it's enough. I downloaded a Kathy Smith powewalk album on the weekend and I walked to it . It's fairly fast paced. Sort of life aerobics music, you know the long play songs. Now will be interesting to see how I feel when I totally cool down.

I have been doing some reading of some things I'd like......way too expenive, but a girl can dream hey......

. . . . . . . . . .

This one's the basic Polar HRM watch, and it sells for $109 (plus $25 p&p) on ebay. I might ask for money toward it for Mothers Day. I will shop around though. I don't want an expensive one,but I like the fact it's plastic (I am allergic to metals on my skin), and it's red!! It beeps when you reach your target heart rate and does other cool things. I like the idea of a stop watch too, as I am starting to time myself on my walks.

I have read about these MBT shoes. Now they are expensive, but sound awesome...... You can read about them on here. These sell for around $280, but do awesome things for your whole body. Thank goodness it's free to dream.

The visit to REBEL sports store was great. I really liked the clothes there. I will go there next time I want some new pants to walk in. Their tops are really pretty too, and so much variety....

I survived Easter

2008-03-24T16:22:00.000+10:00

Another loss

2008-03-21T10:21:00.002+10:00

It's all still going well. Quite frankly, I don't think it will change this time. I have lost 4kg in four weeks, so am very pleased with myself. My next goal is to get under 70kg which would be a great feeling.

I read a post on WW the other day where ladies were posting their starting BMI and their current one, and it was good seeing the change in something else other than the scales. These are my stats.

Starting BMI 28 (should fall between 20 - 25)

Current BMI 26 (Looking much better and getting closer to where it should be)

I am very pleased about that. I don't have to lose much more and I won't be classed as 'overweight' anymore.

Yesterday I walked, the first time since my anti inflammatories have kicked in. It was so good to not pay for it last night. I even fell into a light jog at times. I took my ipod yesterday, for the last four weeks, for some reason I have never thought to take it with me. It made a huge difference to how I felt and to the pace that I kept. I am checking out 'walking podcasts' today to download onto my ipod. So far I haven't found what I am looking for, but I know they exist.

Easter this weekend, poses no threat as far as eating too much stuff goes. The BBQ on Sunday will have good food, so not a worry there. I need to work out what to do with all the chocolate that's coming into the house. I am not real happy about that. I have dieted over Easters before, so I know I can manage it. I may keep it in the fridge as I tend to like my chocolate at room temperature these days. I might even get Bunny to put it high on top of the pantry cupboard. It means I need to get a chair to get it, and I hate doing anything where I need those chairs as they are so heavy.

Will report in my next loss.

All's well

2008-03-14T08:33:00.003+10:00

No I haven't not been posting because I have fallen off the wagon, quite on the contrary. I have been doing really well and it doesn't fill every thought of every day like it has done in the past. I have lost 3.5kg since I started this new WW journey.

I do wish that I had digital bathroom scales as they would register the smaller losses. I can't see the numbers properly. At this point in time I am waiting for the needle to fall under the 70kg mark. That's something I haven't seen much of in the last nine years or so.

I am walking, I wish I could walk more, but I managed three times this week which is great, and I hope to get in more over the weekend.

Managing life with WW

2008-03-01T13:45:00.002+10:00

This time around on WW I have been really conscious of trying to have strategies for coping with my 'danger' times. One of the danger times, is a Friday night. I can eat pretty well all week and then the KFC or Thai meal on a Friday night can be quite deadly I think. So last night, I had a Thai Beef Salad and passed on the rice and curry puffs. I allowed 8.5 points, but it was so worth it. It was delicious. Don't think I can afford to do that every week, so I don't know what I will do on the weeks, we used to choose KFC. I did look up a Sweet Chilli Twister and it was 9.5 points, so I may opt for that, as l don't normally eat much during the day, so can manage that okay with my points.

My Mum and Dad are coming for dinner, Dad was going to spring for pizza, which we enjoy, but I would rather use my points for something more delicious, so we are having eye fillet, with chargrilled vegies and blue cheese sauce. It's my current favourite meal and I am really looking forward to a lovely evening. I went for my walk today too, so that's four times this week which is really good, I hope to go tomorrow too. So I have lots of bonus points up my sleeve which I can resort too if I need to.

Back and stronger

2008-02-27T09:10:00.003+10:00

I like to keep 'diet' type of posts separate from my 'daily ramblings'. Maybe because the other blog is 'me' and this is about 'my weight'. I am not my weight, I am just a person with too much weight on. It's kind of like, when you discipline a child, you hate the behaviour, not the child. Like a person who is ill, they are ill, they are not their illness.

On the weekend I spent time with my dear friend Kerrie, whom I hadn't seen in many months, due to her looking after her sick Mum. Kerrie's Mum passed away about a month ago, and this was Kerrie's weekend to reconnect with herself and to have some time to reaffirm a friendship, and to scrapbook the photos of her wonderful family. It was a great weekend, for both of us. Kerrie has lost 15kg in the last six months and looks fabulous. She is one of those lucky women though, who put on weight and just become more voluptuous, as the weight doesn't really go on in any one particular area, so I never really thought of her being that overweight. She has a girl like figure now and looks wonderful. She achieved this with Weight Watchers. On the Saturday night, I came home, and lay in bed at 2am perusing my old Weight Watcher books (and thanking God that I didn't chuck them all out during my 'non diet' phase).

So, on Monday, I walked the kids to school and started my diet yet again. I am using points this time, and may convert over to Core when I need a shake up. I am feeling confident this time. I read a post last night on the weight watchers forum, which told another poster, that, just because she didn't lose weight for a couple of weeks, didn't mean she had to chuck it all in. She wisely said, that okay, you are dieting now, but don't you realize that to keep it off, you will need to continue eating, pretty much as you are now!! Light bulb moment for me. It's not for the short term. It's a long term thing, it's ongoing, I will never be able to become lax.

I am writing down my reasons for this new journey, and my thoughts, I will do it in point form.

* I think about how I look all the time. I would much rather be putting those thoughts into a positive light, by thinking about when I can exercise next, and what good things I need to buy so I can eat right. Rather than eating and then feeling badly because I am overweight. It has to have a much better impact on my well being.

* I want to buy clothes and have them look nice, and be able to buy a smaller size.
* I want to be able t sit down and not feel the spare tyre around my middle.
* Having had two pre eclamptic pregnancies and one which was starting that way, I have a predisposition to blood pressure issues, so this can help me control my bp.
* I want to be able to eat something I like, and just have a small amount.
* I want to stick to this so that healthy food become the more attractive option for me. I do that now most of the time, but too much other stuff creeps in, plus my portions are too big, which is my main problem.
* I need to do WW because it's a tried and proven method. I lost nearly 5kg on Kate Morgan, and promptly put nearly all it it back on again, in about the same time it took me to lose it.....so it's not an option for me. Plus at least with WW I can eat normal food, and even allow small amounts of occasional treats.
* When I see myself in a shop window, I don't want to cringe.
* I want to look nice in my walking gear, and my bathers.
* I want to wear nice lingerie and look nice in it.

I will add more thoughts as they come to me. I will need to read this back over if I am feeling like throwing in the towel. I also have to realize that if I stuff up one day, then I can just get back to doing the right thing the next day. A diet isn't doomed with one meal or even one day, but it's having the strength to get back on track, and not beating myself up about it.

I am on Day 3 and feeling really really good. The evening munchies have stopped, I am eating more fruit again, and am looking forward to cooking new delights. I am going to incorporate exercise this time, and have started walking the kids to school on the mornings I don't walk.

Blog, remind me when I need to re read all this....

Pausing Kate Morgan for Christmas

2007-12-03T11:42:00.000+10:00

I went and weighed in today, with the full intention of not continuing with the shakes until after Christmas. I put on .3 which is to be expected with what I have eaten, although it's scary how quickly it does come back on. Thursday I was so excited because I had a chicken and salad roll, which was delicious. Dinner was Peter's new recipe of eye fillet with blue cheese sauce and char grilled vegies, which was divine. I had Thai on Friday night, and then had the blue cheese ensemble again on Saturday night. In between though I have been good, so I am happy with that.
Gina at the pharmacy has said I can come in and weigh in at any time, so that's very supportive and helpful. I will take her up on that offer.

I will be back in the New Year, to finish what I have started............

Still doing okay

2007-11-26T11:05:00.000+10:00

I had some struggles on the weekend. I guess because of the week 6 mark, I had the real 'woe is me' attitude. It's hard going, this dieting business. I really struggled making my entire family nice sandwiches for lunch and I missed out on my shake, because I was going to an afternoon tea at the church. I didn't even have my shake. I had some egg sandwiches in the afternoon which were just delicious.

I lost .4kg this week, so again another good loss. The girls at the chemist were incredibly encouraging, and I am grateful for their support. I feel better for having seen them today. Hopefully next week I will be a 60's girl which will be fabulous. I have another three weeks to go before I revert to my own steam, as my income will stop and I just won't be able to afford the shakes.

I will just take one day at a time - knowing that I can pick myself up and go and talk to someone who is encouraging and helpful and they are also confident in my ability to continue. My darling husband is always steadfast in his support of me. He never says anything, but I wonder if he ever gets sick of me trying to lose weight.

A good loss

2007-11-19T17:46:00.001+10:00

I did well last week. I lost .8kg and that's nothing to sneeze at. In five weeks I have lost 4.4kg- I don't normally lose that much in that amount of time, so I'm pretty happy with that result. I did have KFC on Friday night with Barbi, which I thoroughly enjoyed - it was delicious. On Saturday night with our anniversary dinner, I added avocado oil to our dish, and I also had a little more wine than I should have - but I figured I would see how I went. I don't feel like I am cheating - just like I am living.

I am resigned to the fact that when I finish this diet, I will diet Mon - Fri for life!

Weekly weigh in

2007-11-06T13:55:00.001+10:00

I weighed in yesterday and was a little disappointed. I certainly didn't expect losses like the first two weeks, but half a kg would have been great. I took my food for Fri night, Sat lunch and a salad to add to Sat night's dinner. I ate a quiche and salad for lunch on Sunday instead of having my shake. I stayed away from all the cake/slices/pizza - so I was happy about that. Saturday night's dinner was roast chicken with roast vegies, I chose to have the chicken and took pumpkin and sweet potato (both not allowed on KM) but didn't take the roast potato or eat bread. I ate my dessert of diet mousse and diet jelly. I had my shakes at home for breakfast and brought in a yummy Gloria Jean's chocolate coffee, so I had something nice while all the girls hooked into their cooked breakfasts. Lunch on Sunday was a quiche which had puff pastry under it, a salad and I had a small serve of flummery which was just delicious. I drank no alcohol, until a couple of small glasses on Sunday night. So, all in all, not bad really, just crammed into a small amount of time, and right before weigh in day. This coming weekend, I am not dieting................It's the food and wine convention, so I think that kind of defeats the purpose. We are really looking forward to it.

Something did happen on the weekend which was an accidental sabotage. Peter bought my salad dressing and didn't check the label, so I just poured it on my salad and it wasn't fat free.......... Oh well, that won't happen again.

Last night's dinner was an old favourite, an Annette Sym recipe. Chicken breast fillets in a baking dish with (the boys had ham and cheese as well) capsicum, mushrooms and salsa. Very very yummy. We had vegies which was a nice change from the phenomenal amount of salad I am eating.

Still going strong

2007-10-31T11:29:00.000+10:00

It's Wednesday of another week, I will update my other blog with what's been happening in the household. Nothing major, but enough to keep me on my toes, and to normally send one to the fridge/pantry for solace.

I am eating a King's ransom a week on salads - I am buying the packets of rocket and spinach leaves and go through almost four packs a week. That's $16 in lettuce leaves - yikes. Mind you I am saving that on take away and baking ingredients and cereal. I love my salads and normally by now I would be feeling ill just thinking about the next one, but I am plodding along quite comfortably and confident that I am here for the next few months. On Saturday night made a delicious Thai Beef Salad, I have posted the recipe over here

My salad comprises of restaurant leaves with added baby rocker, fresh basil, pea and lentil sprouts, cherry tomatoes, spring onions, carrots and Kraft French dressing with good quality balsamic vinegar - the best you can buy. Delish!

Week 2 Weigh in

2007-10-29T10:19:00.001+10:00

So far so good. I lost 1.2kg this week and am very, very pleased with that. I have never ever lost over 1kg within the same diet session. I feel confident that I can continue this and do the right thing. I don't feel in the slightest bit tempted. The results are keeping me going. I bought a packet of doughnuts for the family, and just put them away without even licking my fingers when I got one out for the kids.

I am doing well

2007-10-27T14:41:00.000+10:00

It's nearly two weeks and I am travelling along nicely. My darling husband has looked at me twice today and said I was starting to slim down. While I don't need validation to continue this journey, it sure helps to make me want to keep trying. My clothes already look better and I am excited about being able to wear some things without feeling self conscious. I know I can do this. These ae the tactics I employ to make this successful
- I always prepare my lunch to take to work, as well as my egg salad for dinner on Friday night for scrapbooking. Last night I even included a dessert of diet jelly with diet custard and while the ladies were eating a pizza supper I had that.
- I make sure I buy good varieties of salad, so that it's not dull and boring ice berg. I add delicious sprouts and lots of yummy vegies, I have also discovered the delicious taste of good quality of balsamic vinegar which tastes divine.
- Move myself away from the food table. I did that last night, and also yesterday at work as it was Teachers' Day and there was lots of yummy cake.

I am not hungry, I can honestly say I am not hungry. I feel like certain things sometimes, but I am not going hungry. I normally am starving for my meal times, especially lunch, so that's really good. I don't stress about what I can eat because the list is so small, there' s not much to think about.

The main key though, is preparation. Making sure I don't run out of my yummy salad stuff or the diet dressing. I bought WW cordial the other day and it's really nice. I get sick of water, and even though I love my Pepsi Max, I don't like drinking copious amounts, so the cordial is good. My husband is so encouraging and supportive. We look at recipes together and he knows what I can and can't have.

The next two weekends are going to be difficult. Next weekend won't be as bad as the following week though. The retreat is on, but I am sleeping at home. This saves me packing and I don't have to pay for accommodation. I can also eat my shake at home for breakfast, and have my shake at lunch. The dinner time I will make the best choice. The following weekend is the Food and Wine Convention and that will be much much harder. I am not dieting that weekend, but will endeavour to taste things, as opposed to gourmandizing on them. I am loathe to pay for a week's worth of shakes and then not lose any weight - so I am a little unsure exactly how that weekend will pan out. If I lose even a small amount that would be good. I probably won't weigh in on the Monday either, I will wait a few days.

Off to finish some photo editing and some blog reading.

Progress Report

2007-10-22T12:55:00.000+10:00

I did my pilates class today and then headed off to the chemist to weigh in. I have lost 1.9kg in the first week. I am happy about that, I think the lady at the pharmacy was a bit disappointed with my reaction. I had my two youngest with me, and that's a stress in itself, and I know that I always lose weight in the first week. I can already feel where it has gone from - and it's exactly from where I want to lose it from , so that's great. She asked me if I had any questions and I said, no I was doing fine. The only 'challenge' was yesterday when we went to the plaza and the kids and Peter yummy stuff for lunch and I had a diet coke. Actually it wasn't that bad. I had my salad and shake then when we got home. I have discovered that the Kraft Free French dressing with really good quality balsamic vinegar is really nice. I buy the spinach leaves with rocket and it's a nice salad base. Last night I had an omlette which was delicious. I wonder how long I can do this for. I am steadfastly determined to give it a good attempt.

I had a revelation today

2007-10-17T08:35:00.000+10:00

I was driving home from dropping the kidlets at school and it was then that my revelation hit me. I am either in one or two spaces where food is concerned. I am either hating the way I look, feeling self conscious, feeling uncomfortable, feeling helpless or I can be thinking about my meal plan for the day, working out what I can take to work, working out how to make dinner time as easy as possible when cooking for five and not just for myself. In the end one way of thinking is very negative and reactive to my situation. Being on Kate Morgan is a positive step in the right direction, it's pro-active and positive - and only good things can come of it.

I am not deluded to believe that this is a way of life, I am not that stupid. I know that I can't keep eating very basic foods, even though I know it's very good for me. But for now it will work. I am determined to make a good dent in the weight I need to lose. I also know that I just can't abandon healthy eating EVER!! Put it this way, I can do KM and then when I am maintaining my weight I will revert back to the WW way of doing things........in all seriousness, WW will be almost decadent after I finish my stint with this.

I am also surprised that I am not feeling crappy so far. When I did the Atkins Diet, I felt dreadful. I was lethargic, had a rotten headache and just felt so weak. With this I feel fine, I had a headache for most of Monday, but that might have been just a 'normal' headache. I actually feel quite good, full of energy and happy. I am taking a multi vitamin tonic as well, and I think that's helping in a huge way. My life is too busy, and with my depression, I really can't afford to feel unwell again.......

Day 2

2007-10-16T09:33:00.000+10:00

I have woken up this morning feeling pretty good. I was a bit head achy yesterday afternoon, and a little this morning, but have hit it on the head with panadol before it got a hold of me today. I had a good night's sleep which always helps too. I have been so tired of late, I can't wait for the anti depressants to settle down in my system so that I can just feel normal tired, instead of exhausted. It's still early in the morning and I am feeling a little peckish, but nothing major. I can have some fruit mid morning, so will have that before my yoga class. I woke up this morning not feeling as bloated as normal, which is a good feeling. Obviously my steak and salad dinner sits with me a lot better than the addition of rice or pasta, or corn and sweet potato................. Hello My name is Jenny Schimak and I am a carboholic!! Last night, I didn't have the munchies but looked forward to my cup of tea and a nestle diet mousse which I ate while Bunny had is biscuits and left over slice. I don't think the family has realized yet that the baking will slow down, now that I can't eat it for a while. Or on the flip side, I can bake and it will last much longer because I am not devouring it too. Tonight's dinner will be grill fish (frozen) with salad, while everyone else will have crumbed fish with home made wedges and salad too.

Never say Never

2007-10-15T12:01:00.001+10:00

I am back on a diet.

I know, I know, I know, I said I would never, ever do it ever again.............. So what happened, I hear you ask????

The fact of the matter is that I need something. I need the help and I need the discipline. I also want it to happen fairly quickly, and then I know I have to go back to being careful. Even to probably dieting Monday to Fridays and relaxing on the weekends. I know I have it in me..........I just need to tap in again. I have great support at home, and I pray a lot too......so that will help.

I am doing the Kate Morgan program which is run through my local pharmacy. It's a meal replacement program, where breakfast and lunches are a shake. Dinner is a protein with vegies or salad. You can have two pieces of fruit a day, and a yoghurt, which is good, because I need that little something sweet of an evening.

She set my goal at 10kgs which she is confident is manageable. One thing I really liked, was the one on one support. I can get weighed every week and not pay. I can go in as many times as I like during the week for support or advice. The lady was really friendly and very helpful. She said that so far they have had great results.

I told her we had booked to go to the Food and Wine festival, and she said I could just do the best I can. I can still have my shakes for the other meals, or get right back on the wagon, on the Sunday. That's life, and I can't put it on hold, nor can I prolong going back to doing something any longer.

I feel uncomfortable. I want to wear my board shorts again, I want to wear tops without having the huge bulge around my waist. I am excited and look forward to my first results. I will post my thoughts here during my journey......

Peace reigns

2007-08-25T18:17:00.000+10:00

I should change the name of the blog. There no longer is a war.

Do I still need to address some issues?

Yes!

They are
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry
* I still eat sometimes when I am not really hungry

Pretty cool..............

I just about have this intuitive eating thing wired. I have lost a couple of kgs to boot, so I am happy. Am I still overweight, yes a little.............but hey I am 44 years old and I am not prepared to do what I need to do to look like a barbi doll........ Gosh I don't think that's even possible.

I am a work in progress. Actually life is just that........always evolving, being improved, evaluated and changed. Always positive and always improving - I like that!

IE Journey continues

2007-07-30T18:54:00.001+10:00

When I was joining WW, on WW, or leaving WW, I blogged often. I belonged to a WW yahoo group and we comisserated and celebrated together on a daily basis. Since I embraced the IE principles, apart from the initital reading and stuff, I don't think about it much..........nor do I write about it much.

I just read a post from Joc
and she made me realize a couple of things about myself. I am not stressing about food. I am not waking up in the morning and planning my day's intake. I am not concerned if I have something coming up where I know there will be lots of goodies. I am finding that I am much more in tune with my body than ever before. I sometimes deliberately miss lunch, because I am not hungry. I sometimes, on the weekends, don't eat breakfast, and then eat in the afternoon when I am peckish. I find that if I eat something one evening, that's not 'healthy' which is usually on a Friday night, I don't need breakfast. I actually feel a bit icky in the stomach, and am happy with green tea. I have discovered that I can drink herbal tea, which increases my water intake during the colder months. I haven't been drinking enough water, and I find the peppermint tea and green tea is soothing to my stomach. I am finding I am more sensitive to 'white' starches so am paying attention to evening meals. Tonight I cooked a rosti of potatoes and I did sweet potato for myself. My doctor in Noosaville, the one who has put me on the hormone cream and taken me off HRT has suggested I cut out all white starches (and chocolate!!). I am thinking he may have something there. On a Friday night, we will often have KFC and I don't think it's the twister that bothers me, I think it's the chips. I will not have the chips this Friday and see if it makes a difference.

Like Joc, I am finding this makes me happier and much nicer to be around. I am happier within myself, content and relaxed about life in general. If I like myself more, then it has to rub off onto others, especially my husband. Our relationship is good, but we always work on it, talk about things and are aware of each others feelings, but me being not stressing about food has improved things on that side of my life. I think too, changing my medication regime is having a positive impact on many things in my life.

Thanks Joc for making me sit down and blog about the positive things in my life.

IE Journey continues

2007-07-30T17:48:00.001+10:00

It's not a diet

2007-07-01T18:03:00.000+10:00

I have been following this 'no diet' regime for over four months now. I am following the principles of Intuitive Eating. One thing I have done which I am really grateful for, is I haven't obsessed. IE has taken over my life. I haven't bought every book on the subject, (I have them on my fishpond wishlist, but have bought none). I am really pleased I haven't succumbed.............because -

It's not a diet, it's not something I can fail at. It's not something that may work............. It does work. You just have to let it. Let IE take a back seat. Allow your own body to dictate its wants and needs foodwise. I have even stopped reading 'diet' blogs for motivation, because often they are quite sad to read............

I am happy with my choice. It's working and I know I am a much happier person for it.

Diets don't work

2007-07-01T17:49:00.000+10:00

They don't work for me! I am over dieting, I am over ever having to eat second grade food because I think it's 'better' for me. Things that have changed since I ditched diets forever................(that was four months ago).
* I don't think about food allllllll day long.
* I don't shudder when someone invites me to lunch/morning tea/dinner
* I don't plan my intake of food from dusk till dawn of any given day
* I don't record in a diary every morsel of food which passes my lips
* I don't feel guilty if I eat something 'bad'
* I do enjoy cooking and baking again
* I do relish the thought of trying new recipes
* I do enjoy making my family happy with my goodies
* I am not cringing over all the birthdays coming up
* I don't feel compelled to eat everything in one hit, because tomorrow I start a new diet
* I don't berate myself for being overweight
* I have gained no weight
* I have stayed the same weight but lost a little percentage of fat
* I don't have to drink crap milk anymore
* I enjoy eating crackers, and don't feel compelled to eat lots and lots and lots at once
* I can eat cheese now, and still only eat a little
* If I am not hungry, I don't eat, and I don't feel like I am missing out
* I don't get the shakes when I am hungry
* I am much, much happier

I feel I will add to this list as time goes by. I know that my body needs good food and exercise, and I don't begrudge having to do that, because it's my choice and not something someone has mandated for me. If I miss a week of gym............so be it. That's life. I am not training for a marathon, I am training for life, and................. I am a works in progress.

Not that hungry

2007-06-13T22:14:00.000+10:00

I am experiencing something really weird at the moment.

I really want to think that it's my non dieting mode of thinking. I am not thinking about food all the time. It's amazing and feels absolutely fantastic. Situations arise where I would normally go for some little snack, and I ask myself 'Am I hungry?' and my answer is a resounding "NO!" I can't believe it, never thought I would ever say that. Me who is always hungry, me who is always wondering what the next meal/snack is, and when it will be and how much it will be. Me who is always trying to work out how I can eat the most for what I am 'allowed' to eat........ I don't even have supper every night, something I made sure I always had when on a diet. I can even go without lunch and not feel like I am going to keel over. I would feel so faint and dizzy after a few hours of not eating, and now it doesn't happen. Probably because when I have dinner, it has some substance to it, and keeps me satisfied for much longer. I know skipping meals isn't ideal, but, if I can go without lunch and then have a good dinner, surely that has to be okay, if I am not going hungry and I certainly don't feel deprived........

I am learning, I am making inroads to eating intuitively.

Body Image

2007-06-07T17:04:00.000+10:00

I belong to a yahoo group which looks at the elements of Intuitive Eating. Every day a new discussion is started and I always think about my reply and can usually add my bit straight away. Yesterday's topic was about "My Body". IE advocates to learn to love oneself and to love your body. To respect and honour it and be humbled by all it can do for you. I like that, that has really struck a chord with me.......until I look in the mirror that is!! I thought about my reply to this topic for two days, because I really struggled with it, and I so much want to get past this mentality. Here is what I wrote.

I have been thinking to a reply to this post for the last two days, and couldn't come up with anything positive to share. This is my stumbling bloc - my body!

I don't wait for anything, 'I'll do that when I lose weight', so I know life wouldn't be any different if I were slim. I take good care of myself, my hair is always done, even if I am at home all day, I always wear makeup, even just a little when at home. I wear nice clothes - but I would love to wear different clothes. I feel great, I feel good within myself, I don't feel grossed out by my body at all, until I look in the mirror, or worse, catch a look at myself unexpectedly in a shop window.

So far my thoughts are still at this level
"why can't everyone else be a little plump, like me?

" Why can't we still have the same body desires as in the 50's,
or even in centuries gone by where a buxom and voluptuous woman
was considered beautiful and sexy?"

I am confident, I carry myself well, I am not afraid to
speak up for myself or to be the life of a gathering.......
these are thoughts which I only have for me. They just haunt
me when no-one is watching!.

Enjoying food freedom

2007-05-29T17:19:00.001+10:00

Just in case anyone is reading this and is wondering why they can't find their way back to my other blog. I have omitted the address from my profile as I have some younger readers, who I don't really want to read my innermost thoughts and feelings. So, if you haven't bookmarked it, leave a comment and let me know. The blogs are still accessible without password etc, just that you can't jump to them in my profile, where they were previously listed.

I have been doing some more reading of late, about others who have thrown diet mode out the window. Very interesting and very motivating. I feel like I am on the right path. I went into the supermarket today to buy some necessities, and I felt like some goodies..... I bought a nice tub of good yoghurt. To think that as a treat I pick something like that is really wierd. It's not a cake, not chocolate, but a yummy yoghurt that I will eat over three nights - because it's so filling I couldn't eat it in one sitting if I tried.

Probably the best thing, is that I can nuture one of my passions. I can cook. I can cook for my family whatever recipe my heart desires, without having to calculate points and decide that I can only have a small helping IF I eat a salad leaf for lunch!! The thing is I don't cook fatty anyway. I only deep fry something occasionally. I love making vegetable fritters, schnitzel and spring rolls (home made).............I would average one of these dishes about once a month, so it's not going to kill my arteries!

I wonder how many years it will take to get the rid of the dieting brainwashing?

Food Wars Continue

2007-05-21T14:07:00.000+10:00

My other blog started as a weight loss blog. I have had that blog for two years, maybe more, and there hasn't been a lot of weight loss happening. Because I am always changing/stopping/evolving as far as my dieting journey goes, I have become reluctant to post about this, because I feel like I have failed somewhat. I still feel that I need to journal this all down though, even though the other blog has become a journal. I wanted somewhere else to write down my thoughts.

I have dieted on and off for over twenty years. I know exactly what to do, how often and how much! But I couldn't lose weight anymore. I'd hit a brick wall........ I can't do WW anymore. I don't ever want to try Jenny Craig again. I can't afford Sureslim, nor do I want the total deprivation which comes with that style of dieting.

So - no more dieting. I have found Intuitive Eating, and feel like this is an answer to my prayers........... I belong to a Ning group which is for those on IE and I have learnt alot through it. (I will post a link in the sidebar, when I get organized). At the moment I feel like I am failing at that too though. The weekend just gone was a retreat - and bucket loads of food is always involved in this weekend. By Sunday, I realized that I had overdone things, and I didn't feel real good about it. I had stomach pains Sunday night, and I felt so guilty. Diet mentality still reigns supreme.........

Need to go to Peaches and Cream and do some more reading.